Im Never Taking My Daughter to Church Again.

I took my daughter to church today.  I really like my church.  Not only is the pastor a really good guy, but they have a band with 3 guitars, drums, keyboards and sometimes even a sax! Super cool music-super cool pastor..... super cool church.  My daughter likes it too.  She wakes ME up to get there on time.

So, today, pastor was talking about Noah, and how God gave humanity a "do over" or second chance.  He went on to talk about how Eve ate from the forbiden fruit.  It was a very serious moment in the sermon.  When my daughter turns to me and whispers, "and it all could have been avoided, if Eve had a sassy gay friend!"  (See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQhkzYVlLl8) . So, in the middle of this VERY serious subject matter and a VERY quiet congregation,  we start cracking up,  not everyone,.... just my me and my daughter.  Thankfully,  no lightning strikes occured.  Looks like I get a second chance!

It just happenend to be communion Sunday.  So, at the end of the service, there was the traditional drinking of the grape juice and eating of the cracker.  I try not to think about the irony of it-- that my daughter is allergic to grape juice--but I figure the small amount wont hurt her, and after all,...  its COMMUNION.  So, she drinks it, and, thankfully, she has no reaction to it.  Excellent! we have been blessed!  God has smiled down on us today!  Life is good!  We were able to -in the moment of silence- ask for forgiveness for the "Sassy Gay Friend" comment, AND  we, like Noah, have found grace in his eyes!!!! Excellent!  another second chance!

Then, she did it.  As she is sitting waiting for the service to end.  We hear a "CRAAAACKK",  we both look in her hand, and we see,.... there, in her palm, is a cracked communion cup. SHE HAS BROKEN THE CUP!!!  WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!  We both let out a collective, "gasp!!".  Then we both get the same look of horror on our faces!  OMGsh!!!!!!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!  YOU HAVE BROUGHT A CURSE ON US!!! So, again, in the middle of a very serious moment, we crack up.  Everyone else is sitting solemnly, not us.  We are ROTFLMAO.  However,  no lighting strikes occur.... second chance number 3.  Whew!!!

So, service over.  Let's go before God changes his mind!  We finally make it out of the building, when I look at my daughter and notice she's holding a Bible.  I know what you're thinking, "how sweet, she takes her Bible to church!".  Yes, except for one minor thing.... the Bible she was holding belongs to the church.... SHE STOLE A BIBLE!!!!!!  

How many second chances do we get again?!!